next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
