If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
