I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
