I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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