I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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