just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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