Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
