Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
