32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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