So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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