Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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