We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
