he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
