Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
