So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm passing your future prison.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
