wanna go halves on a baby?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
