I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
