Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize