I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
