we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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