You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ladies don't puke and tell
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
