OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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