It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize