I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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