If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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