Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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