I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
