Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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