I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
