We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
