Your dad touched me again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
