I CAN MOONWALK!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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