We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
