i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
