Where is the hickey?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
