so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you never un-have a 4some
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
