I just saw a hot homeless man
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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