Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
