Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
