taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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