im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
