My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
