Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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