so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
