I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize