She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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