so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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