wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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