can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
