I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
