watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
