none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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