your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Four minutes until I can fart!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
