remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
