i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
