You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
