Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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