I just threw up on my dentist
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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