Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
